Conscious Living

I've come to the realization that I have always been obsessed with the concept of time. This, time , has haunted me, majority of my life. The clock has become a God in my life.  Okay, focusing on time in appropriate situations, is great, nothing negative to say there. However, when time controls me, even on days when I don't have a schedule, it becomes a problem.  Honestly, I don't even get my brain sometimes. How my mind decides to mash around thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. All the while most of these things remain to be revolving around the concept of time.  I'm emotionally attached to time. It's more than a concept, it's almost an entity for me. I nurture it, care for it, and most of all, respect it. Again, these acts are not terrible ones, but time is almost made up. It is an illusion, especially the future time,  because it hasn't even happened yet! God made the sun rise and set, but he didn't create a clock--a time-ticking clock.  ...

I decided to visit the ole car dealership. I'm sick of walkin'. His name was Ed. This car salesman had teeth that looked like a ceramic floor torn up. As he pointed out a car, his balding head was trickling beads of sweat, splashing against the hood of the car. When I arrived, I didn't expect a Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star experience, but I didn't expect to go blind from the print of his shirt. Ed was sweet like Shirley Temple, but his lisp made him spit like Babe Ruth. Before Ed could pop the question, I ran. All I had with me was a frying pan filled with a few burnt bills. I had to run. If I looked back, I would've turned into Lot's wife. It's like they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm not walking' anymore, I'm running.

lemons are made to last, not really last, but prolong the life of a select few things. it prolongs the life of cut apples and my water--and that's actually all I can think of right now. I'm sure it has more value, than I can come up with. that is how I view a lot of things though. I can have a small, very narrow viewpoint on the value of something. clearly, I have no clue. it could potentially be awareness--the fact that I'm lacking in it. the way I view family time, the passion I have for coffee, how I feel about world travel, my stance on God, the way I handle stress, my heart for vegetables, my wish for peace there are thousands of ways all of these aspects can be dealt with differently.

I'm in a blanket I have tea with lemon and honey The blanket is gray There's a storm on its way Potential tornado I'm learning how to meditate How to control my thoughts How to remind myself that doing nothing is okay How to confront my feelings Learning how to live in this moment right now My love, my life next to me

I've begun to find it easy to just be lazy. The form of lazy that includes the infamous lack of motivation and stamina. For a few weeks I was more than on top of things--I was organized and even pushing my every waking minute to things I could be accomplishing. This was great of course, but I didn't give myself a chance to take a breather. Now, I've seemed to just stop being motivated. This, however, is always a temporary period in my life. I have been showered with blessings I that I was never deserving of. This has made me comfortable. It's like my accomplishments have been finished; as if I don't need to keep working hard or moving forward. Yet, I do! As this blog is so conveniently titled, I need to continuously work on living consciously. I need to continuously be asking... 1. What can I be doing? 2. What can I learn? 3. How can I make ____ better? These are just simple questions--but they are questions that couldn't be a better habit for me t...

we used to have grace, the kind of grace that was petitioned for all. likewise,  strength. it was how we purified our love, but it was only pretending. we were defending what we thought  we did well at defining. how could the convicted be released so simply? it's time for guidance. someone to watch over us--not to destroy, but to compete for more than just mere contentment. let's learn how to enjoy  looking into someones' eyes again.  the spirit of our ancestors ask us  to achieve this, this just one thing.